World gone crazy
by AmikaUchiha
Summary: Then she noticed the naked raven haired man in the bed with her and looked down at her own nude condition. She seriously started to spaz out.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any other famous names/brands that may be present in the story. Characters are OOC as usual.

It started out as a normal day just like any other. Ino Yamanaka woke up a little early and dressed preparing to work in her family's flower shop. She had just celebrated her 18th birthday and had gotten some naughty gifts from all her friends in preparation for her upcoming nuptials to one Shikamaru Naru. She smiled thinking about her handsome but lazy suitor. As she walked into the flower shop, she was surprised that her mother was there. She always worked for her mother on Tuesday. "I thought you might like to spend the day with Shikamaru today sweetie, so I'm giving you the day off."  
Ino laughed, 'say no more,' she thought practically running out of the shop and toward her boyfriend's residence. The lights were still off at Shika-kun's place, she wasn't particularly surprised by that, after all, getting up early would be too troublesome. She slipped the key into the door and quietly let herself in, she wondered if she should make him breakfast or just slip in bed with him. In the end she decided on the latter and opened his bedroom door. The light was coming in between the slits of the blinds, and enough that Ino could plainly make out her boyfriend's sleeping form, and that of a companion. Ino blinked tears, her boyfriend naked in bed with TenTen. She shrieked at the top of her lungs as the nude couple jumped up in bed. Shikamaru looked at TenTen and then Ino, his eyes actually going wide with the ramifications of the new situation.  
"Troublesome."  
Ino's blood boiled. 'How could he,' she thought, and then his only reaction is "troublesome!' Her eyes narrowed and she threw everything she could get her hands on at Shikamaru and TenTen on her way out the door. "Oh and TenTen, I hope you used a condom, Shikamaru has chlamydia." Ino hissed the lie easily through her teeth as she left the apartment, noticing how TenTen got pale as a ghost. 'Bitch,' she thought stalking through the streets on Konoha on her way to anywhere but there.

Ino's first stop was to Ichiraku's where many of her friends including one Sakura Haruno were gathered. Sakura was beyond angry at the slight to her BFF and vowed painful death to Shikamaru upon first sight. Both kunoichis then began man-bashing at it's finest and several patrons decided for their own health,all being of the male persuasion including one Naruto Uzimaki, that perhaps now would be a good time to go get dango instead. Eventually, after about ten male-hating minutes, the owners of Ichiraku's decided that Sakura and Ino should relocate their hater party to another location due to the fact that they were losing business by the dozen. Both girls huffed but took their party back to Sakura's house as Ino wasn't ready to explain the situation to her parents just yet as her mother had already booked the venue for the wedding a year and a half in advance and began making the dress. Ino's mother was scary when slighted and this would be just the thing to ensure a black rage the likes the Yamanaka household had never seen, Ino wasn't looking forward to going home later.  
She had calmed down considerably by the time she left Sakura's house just after nightfall. She didn't exactly know how to go about telling her mother what had happened, but decided just to come out with it instead of trying to plan the words. Honesty was usually the best policy when it came to her mother.  
Her mother didn't react as predicted, she just told her to deal with it that all men cheated and continued making the dress. Ino was in shock. She couldn't believe her ears, 'just deal with it? Like hell!' She began to think that the entire world had just gone insane or that maybe she'd stepped into some alternate hellish universe where everyday was opposite day.

She packed her bag and walked out of Konoha that night. She would miss Sakura and a few others, but she needed space. It would be too much to have to see Shikamaru with TenTen and all the other couples happy, in other words, everyone but Sakura and herself. Sakura was still in love with that jerk Sasuke Uchiha who was still off with that pedophile Orochimaru somewhere. Her only hope was that Sakura would come to her senses and give up on that douchebag before age 40.

Ino had settled in a small village as far away from Konoha as she could possibly get and started a job as a waitress in a bar. Before she'd left, she'd gave up her status as a ninja thanks to her mother wanting her to work in the flower shop, therefore she had only had civilian status and could legally leave the village at any time. This was the exact reason that she didn't have to worry about someone recognizing her. Ino Yamanaka was a free woman, who could do whatever she pleased, and this freedom made her very happy. She'd managed to get over that jerk Shikamaru fairly fast, making her realize that perhaps she hadn't cared for him as deeply as she'd thought. Honestly, Ino was done with the myth of love, she didn't think it really existed.

Ino was working her normal evening shift, dealing with the drunks could be very draining, especially when you were attractive to most sober men. She had her butt grabbed so much that sometimes it became numb to it. Her mother wouldn't have approved, but she could care less. She walked up to a couple of gentlemen that had just arrived at a corner table. They were Akatsuki, she could tell by the robes they wore. It made her nervous, but this table was one of hers so waiting on them was unavoidable. She only hoped that they wouldn't take too much notice of her.  
"Hi, my name is Ino. I'll be your waitress this evening. What can I get you two, or do you need more time to decide?" She said it with a friendly smile, even though inside she was shaking, especially after a closer look revealed that the smaller one was none other than Itachi Uchiha. 'Yikes.' she thought cringing, she really hoped he wasn't the bottom pinching type.  
*Swat.*  
She took a deep breath and counted to ten. The blue fishy one had swatted her bottom. She maintained her outwardly friendly appearance as the fish man ordered a beer and Itachi asked for water. She walked away to get them their order as her boss appeared. "Ino, when you've finished with the tables you're already serving, I want you to take the rest of the night off, Stevie needs money so I'm letting her work."  
Ino gritted her teeth but nodded. Stevie was her boss' daughter, and a known drunk and whore, in spite of the fact that the woman was one of the most unattractive Ino had ever seen and the size of a barn to boot. She learned a long time ago not to cross her boss where Stevie was concerned. She poured the fish man's beer and an ice water with a lemon wedge for Itachi hoping that the extra nice gesture would make him happy enough to mangekyo his fishy partner if he tried to continue his disgusting love affair with her overly abused bottom. Maybe taking the night off wasn't such a bad thing after all. Her bottom did need a rest.  
She delivered the orders with a smile trying to avoid conversation and the fish man's overly friendly hands. Of course, the fish man would have to start talking to her. "Wow, beer in a prechilled mug and lemon wedge for my friend here. Gotta hand it to ya cutie, you do take good care of your customers."  
He'd moved to smack her bottom again, she'd simply sidestepped out of the way and shot him a triumphant grin. "I do try." she said her grin becoming wider at his chagrined expression. "You gentlemen enjoy your night." She bowed and went to walk away.  
"We're not done drinking, Miss Ino, where are you going?" She seriously disliked the fish man for asking, but answered him nonetheless. "Oh the owner's daughter needs some money so he's letting her take over and sending me home," she looked at Itachi and added," I'd hide your face if I were you, she looks like a bloated cow and loves to flirt with anyone the least bit attractive, so I imagine she'll probably chase you all over this bar."  
Itachi looked stunned by her inadvertent admission of finding him handsome and the fish man roared with laughter, until about four seconds later, when he realized that he didn't get a warning as well. "Hey! Why no warning for me, Ino?"  
She gave him an evil smirk and turned her back, laughing softly.  
She went to the back and clocked out. When she came back through the bar to leave, fish man blocked her way. She rose an eyebrow at him and folded her arms across her chest. "Come drink with us Ino-chan, we enjoy your company."  
She gaped at him, her have a drink with two notorious S Class criminals? He grabbed her arm and drug her to the table while she was still dazed, the bloated cow chose then to make an appearance. "Ino! you aren't supposed to be drinking with the customers! I'm telling my father! Ooh nevermind, who's the stud."  
Bloated cow was making eyes at...the fish man? Ino looked at the bovine bitch like she'd grown two heads...Itachi Uchiha a.k.a. murderous older sex on legs was there, and the Cow was making googly eyes at a fish? 'Omg...did I just mentally refer to Itachi as sex on legs? Yep, might need that drink after all.' She thought and ordered the strongest drink in the bar.  
Ten minutes after her drink had came, between herself and the fish man, who's name she'd learned thanks to the Cow was Kisame, they'd persuaded Itachi to have a few drinks and the elder Uchiha was thoroughly wasted after a couple of hours. Hell all four of them were including the Cow. The boss had came and took over waitressing himself after noticing his 'precious' daughter neglecting all of her customers and drinking with Kisame instead. He fired her on the spot for that one. Ino smirked inside, until they were all leaving at closing time and a drunken Itachi looked at her weird before blurting out,"Hn...You thought I was sex on legs huh."  
Ino's eyes got wide as saucers and her face went up in flames. Kisame and Stevie fell over laughing. Itachi just stood there swaying but smirking at her all the same. She decided to turn the tables on him and smiled at him, winking, "sure did." It was Itachi's turn to blush.  
Right then both Itachi and her attention was grabbed by the fact that Kisame and the Cow were making out and rolling around in the dirt. Ino felt like she was going to puke. 'That's it,' she thought, 'I've had enough.' She managed to pull the Cow away from Kisame. He grumbled a little bit but then started trying to make snow angels without snow in the dirt. Itachi glowered at his partner and Ino laughed. The Cow was passed out with her head on the dumpster, Ino decided to leave her there. "Ok, goodnight guys, I'm going home before this ridiculous night gets any weirder." She stated with a wide yawn. She looked at Kisame and then Itachi, "thanks for the drinks."  
She started to walk away but noticed Itachi walking beside her. She swung her head toward him, then wished she didn't as she got dizzy immediately and nearly fell over. His arm shot out and he caught her, she grinned at him sheepishly as she righted herself. "Ummm... you're walking with me because?"  
"I'm *hic* walkin you home."  
'Omg, he's drunk as hell and walking me home?' She didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified, but right then her drinks really started kicking in and she stood there grinning like an idiot for a couple of minutes. He was drunkenly grinning right back. In the background, Kisame roared with laughter pointing and laughing at the two of them until they both shot him a glare and started walking, or rather staggering away.  
She actually didn't remember the next few minutes but fuzzily recalled later having her arm thrown over Itachi's shoulder as they'd walked to her place both singing loudly and offkey the '100 bottles of beer' song. She'd actually passed her apartment and they'd had to walk back both laughing their collective asses off over that one. She didn't remember anything else from that night due to her high level of inebriation.

Ino's head was pounding like someone was whacking it with a wrecking ball. Her eyes started to open, but at the bright sunlight streaming in, she threw a corner of the covers over her head and moaned instead. Damn she hated hangovers. She blindly started fishing in the bedside table and found the aspirin and swallowed two dry. Luckily her sunglasses were in the same drawer and she threw those on as well. She finally opened her eyes slowly at that point and decided brushing her teeth and a shower was in order, and she was definitely calling in sick to the bar later. Then she noticed the naked raven haired man in the bed with her and looked down at her own nude condition. She seriously started to spaz out. He himself had yet to wake out of his drunken stupor, she was sort of nervous of when he did. She wasn't afraid that he'd profess undying love, or that he'd want to stay, but this man was Itachi Uchiha, probably the most dangerous member of Akatsuki and he was naked in her bed. She was in fear for her life. She slowly swung her legs off the bed and winced when her feet hit the floor, yep no doubt about the reason for her nude condition, she didn't think she'd ever been this sore. As she quite bowleggedly hobbled into the bathroom, she was glad her bff Sakura would never hear about this one, she'd probably never hear the last of it. She hurriedly brushed her teeth and took a hot shower. She left an extra toothbrush and a towel out in case Itachi decided to do the same, and she brought a glass of water from the bathroom on her way out. He was awake and looking absolutely miserable when she came out of the bathroom. She honestly felt pity as she handed him the glass of water and two aspirin. He mumbled a thank you and she sighed. He was squinting awful hard and she handed him her sunglasses and threw the comforter over that damn window. He actually just fell back on the bed for a minute. She decided to speak, quietly.  
"Extra toothbrush and towel in the bathroom if you want to use them. You can stay here for a while if you like." She'd said it in a whisper knowing he would hear and that both of their headaches would appreciate the quiet tone. He offered her a small smile as a thank you, she smiled back and slipped back in under the sheets, eyes closing automatically to try to go back to sleep as a refuge from the massive pain in her head. She felt him slide off the bed and couldn't resist watching his naked backside disappear into the bathroom. She cocked an eyebrow and grinned thinking that his ass was probably the most attractive one she'd ever saw on a man. Apparently she'd called it right the night before at the bar, sex on legs did describe him well. He had scars, but overall, he was physical perfection. She simply lay on the bed watching the bathroom door, yep, Ino was wanting to see what the front looked like. She'd already, as her bowlegged soreness indicated, had sex with him, so why not see what she'd already experienced. Her eyebrows subconsciously wagged at the thought but she composed herself before the shower turned off. Kami bless him, the man walked in the room naked as the day he was born and Ino had to stop herself from visibly jaw dropping and/or drooling, possibly nosebleeding. He was pure perfection in EVERY sense of the word. 'At least you'll die happy.' Her inner was right of course, he'd looked up at her and cocked an eyebrow, she smirked and rolled away from him to let him dress in peace. She felt the bed sag and a couple of arms encircle her instead. Her eyes widened and then relaxed. She looked over her shoulder and he was laying there with his eyes closed holding her. She smiled and relaxed against him letting sleep claim her.

She woke up and looked at the alarm clock, '8pm'. The arms were still around her. Her headache was blessedly gone. She sighed in relief. He stirred behind her, she hadn't wanted to wake him up and her brow furrowed in a frown. He said nothing, but rolled her to face him. She felt a moment's panic as he simply looked at her in the dark, but then his lips met hers. She melted immediately, her arms going around his neck automatically as he rolled over on top of her. Her soreness was forgotten.  
His mouth on hers was heaven. She sighed arching up into his hands as they played teasingly across her breasts. She felt his smile against her mouth as the corners of her lips turned up as well. Being with him felt amazing and natural. She wondered at that fact but then stopped thinking for a while as his lips trailed down the column of her throat and closer to her breasts. Her breathing became ragged pants as his tongue flicked a nipple and she shuddered. She held his head to her breasts as he ministered to her, feeling her wet pussy begin to throb almost violently. She whimpered in protest as his mouth left her breasts but then her breath hitched in anticipation as they began to travel down her stomach.  
She'd had her eyes closed so tightly they'd begun to hurt. She felt him stop and then arms come under her thighs all the way up to her shoulders. Her eyes popped open as she looked at him with half lidded eyes as he crouched between her legs, his breath fanning her most intimate parts almost making her shoot off the bed. He smirked at her and while he had her full attention his tongue began to slide out of his mouth. She stopped breathing, unaware that she was holding it. 'Dear Kami, that has to be the most erotic thing I've ever seen,' He cocked a brow at her and then his tongue touched her clit. She saw stars, released the breath she'd been holding and immediately came all over his open mouth. He simply continued to drive her crazy with his mouth as she shook like a leaf, her head turning side to side as she screamed his name. He'd brought her to orgasm several times and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. He placed a final kiss on her womanhood and then slid up her body until they were eye to eye and his erection pressed against her core. She felt the head of his manhood pressing against her entrance and automatically arched up against it to try to assist in pushing it in. He kissed her, letting her taste herself on his lips, she didn't particularly like it, but enjoyed the kiss nonetheless. He kissed her deep and pushed himself all the way inside her moist heat. She moaned and pressed back against him as he slid smoothly in and out of her depths.  
Her hands slid down his shoulders to press his bottom forcing him deeper inside of her. She was rewarded with a moan from him as he reared back and placed her legs over his shoulders, ramming his thick length into her. She didn't think anything had ever felt this good and vaguely wondered if it was not some sexy genjutsu to feel this perfect. If it was she seriously never wanted out of it.  
He smiled at her, as he sped up the pace and his hand touched her clit to massage it. "Oh, it's real alright."  
Her walls clenched around him as she came again he threw his head back and began slamming into her as hard and fast as he could as his own release neared. Within moments she was having another orgasm and he grunted loudly emptying his seed into her then collapsing on top of her. They lay there panting, still joined for a few minutes.  
As soon as she was able to speak, she smiled at him, "I take it back, not just sex on legs, how about the God of Fuck too."  
He laughed and rolled off of her taking her with him so that she was lying on his chest. He simply looked at her and brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her face and behind her ear. She couldn't help but notice how soft his expression was and imagined that her own probably looked similar.

They'd both got up and shared a shower, Itachi was actually playful. He nipped at her collarbone in the shower and had actually tickled her, shared laughter probably being heard clearly by the neighbors but neither one caring. They'd raided her kitchen and cooked before ending up making love on the kitchen floor while the food almost burned, luckily Itachi had turned that one into a quickie and saved the food. During the simple meal, they'd talked about nearly everything, well at least everything about Ino's life which was a pretty safe subject. He had talked to her about many things in his life that she realized he'd probably told no one else and was touched by that fact. She'd noticed that he was ill however, very ill. It likely was terminal and the thought made her sad. She cheered up as soon as she could after that realization, knowing that their time together was short and not wanting to put a damper on it. She knew he already knew about it.  
They fell asleep that night holding each other tight. Her dreams were all about him.

* * *

**First lemon, don't flame me, R&R please. **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any famous people/brands possibly mentioned in this story.

Ino woke up the next day alone. She wasn't surprised or hurt, she'd knew that it would have to be this way. He had left her with a surprisingly good memory and secretly she would always think of him fondly and as a friend. She knew that this small portion of time spent together in each others' arms would have to be a well guarded secret she would always treasure. A treasure just for her to keep. She knew he wouldn't have long to keep his end of the secret as he was very ill. She knew he had a year at best and could die anytime at worst, whether Sasuke managed to find him or not. In her opinion it was only keen medical skills on his part and sheer willpower that kept him alive this long. At least she now knew why he'd only ordered water at the bar.  
She sat up in the bed, ready to get the day rolling and do some cleaning of her messy apartment before getting ready for work. Then she noticed a neatly folded note on her bedside table. She was surprised and picked it up, something told her it would contain something important, something precious. She sighed and unfolded the note.

"Ino,  
I'm sure you picked up on the signs of my illness and I ask that you tell no one. I won't see you again, but not because of a desire not to. The last couple of days with you have been some of the happiest of my life. I thank you for that and hope that you too can look back and think of it, of me as a fond memory.  
Shikamaru was and is a fool. You should never settle for someone who refuses to see the value of the beautiful, vibrant, and intelligent woman that you truly are, including my foolish little brother.  
I would advise you not to go back to Konoha for a while. It's probably not safe. I think that some Akatsuki members are planning something. Don't involve yourself as it probably won't help and will only endanger you. Consider it a last request of a dying friend. I would hate to think of you being hurt as you've showed me a kindness I hadn't thought possible for someone with my history and reputation.  
I imagine at some point you will probably wonder if this time between us actually happened or was simply some wonderful (at least for me) genjutsu. My answer is that every touch you felt was the real me.  
I will end this letter rather than becoming too uncomfortably sentimental. Goodbye and thank you, my beautiful friend.  
Respectfully Yours,  
Itachi Uchiha"

She smiled and wiped away tears at his kind words. She thought of her family and wanted to warn them, but Itachi had made his last request of her and she couldn't bring herself to not honor them. So she stayed away from Konoha for a while. It was only weeks later that she learned of Itachi's death. She'd cried for days, her boss giving her a vacation for her to grieve, not knowing why. She'd layed in her bed, missing him deeply and reading his letter over and over again. She didn't feel like a traitor for feeling this way, and never would.  
She still did as Itachi asked and stayed away from Konoha. She did feel guilty for not sending warning of Itachi's suspicions to the Leaf, but there was no way to do that without explaining her short relationship with a S Class criminal.  
She was very glad that she'd listened to Itachi when the Leaf was destroyed, especially after only days before she'd discovered that she was going to be a mother. She still couldn't believe it. 'His child,' she thought in awe. Who fathered the child would have to be a secret for as long as possible, forever if she could. Reality was, that if her child inherited it's father's sharingan, the truth would have to come out then. She could only cross that bridge when she got there, if she got there. After all, the child was only half Uchiha and might not even have a sharingan.

Finally, a couple of months later, she took on the trek back to Konoha to help rebuild the village. She caressed her swollen belly absently and lovingly as she walked, already loving the child very much.  
"Time to see where your parents are from Little One," she said a soft smile gracing her features at the thought of Itachi and of their unborn son.  
She'd already picked out a name, Kai Itachi Yamanaka, although his middle name was off the records. She smiled nearing her old home, ready to begin the next chapter in her and her son's lives.


End file.
